About Arnold Schwarzenegger: "  Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a condom full of walnuts."  Clive James. About Chevy Chase: "He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner." Johnny Carson. About Montgomery Clift: "He acts like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it." Marlon Brando. About Gary Cooper: "He got a reputation as a great actor by just thinking hard about the next line." King Vidor.  About Colin Farrell: "I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur." Charlie Sheen. About Clark Gable: "His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open." Howard Hughes. About Steve Martin: "Steve Martin has basically one joke and he's it." Dave Felton. About Chico Max:  "Now there sits a man with an open mind. You can feel the draft from here. There were three things that Chico was always on - a phone, a horse, or a broad." Groucho Marx.  About Walter Matthau: "He looked like a half-melted rubber bulldog." John Simon. About Steve McQueen: "His features resembled a fossilized wash rag." Alan Brien. About Robert Redford: "He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth."  Pauline Kael.  "Poor little man, they made him out of lemon Jell-O and there he is. He's honest and hardworking but he's not great." Adela Rogers St. John. "Well at least he has finally found his true love … what a pity he can't marry himself. " Frank Sinatra. About Mickey Rooney: "His favorite exercise is climbing tall people." Phyllis Diller. About Quentin Tarantino: "He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of a fence-post and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce. "  Fintan O'Toole. About John McEnroe: "McEnroe was as charming as always, which means that he was as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread."  Clive James. About Dennis Rodman: "Beyond the hair, tattoos and earrings, he's just like you and me." Bob Hill. "Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money." Charles Barkley. "He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait." Bob Costas. About Chuck Berry: "I love his work but I couldn't warm to him even if I was cremated next to him." Keith Richards. About Mick Jagger: "I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized to how many people he is not a sex symbol but a mother image." David Bowie. "He moves like a parody between a majorette girl and Fred Astaire." Truman Capote. About Boy George: "Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress." Joan Rivers.

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